Speed dating one liners
Trapped on a deserted island, please send the following supplies:• I'm a better dancer then you are.• I'm having the time of my life, wanna join me?
Natural Born Killers Steven Wright (K-Billy DJ): That was The Partridge Family's "Doesn't Somebody Want to be Wanted? Last summer Nikkie was involved in a bizarre electrolysis accident. I knew I couldn't do that, so I slept with my skis on.
When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them. My girlfriend asked me how long I was going to be gone on this tour. You leave any Monday, and they bring you back the previous Friday... I've been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely abstract. (Picks up his glass of water from the stool...) I like to live on the edge...
I write right on the bill, "I'm sorry, I haven't seen it all month." I have a decaffeinated coffee table. One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. " I said, "Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read." A cop stopped me for speeding. Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter? It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.
Then put the kid in and run around, looking frantic. When I was 10, my pa told me never to talk to strangers.
When I have a kid, I want to buy one of those strollers for twins.
You know, you turn it upside down then you turn it back and it starts to snow. Mom said, "Steven, time to go to sleep." I said, "But I don't know how." She said, "It's real easy.