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A quick google search reveals a bias in the online-dating advice industry: it’s all about pictures, bios, and listicles of “the 10 unwritten rules of online dating.”This stuff is important. You need a fire profile and to understand the etiquette.But here’s the thing: this advice is easy to give because it’s easy to implement.You can pay a professional profile pic photographer for better images.You can get your female friends to help you with your bio. If you’re devoting more than 50% of your bandwidth to picture selection and bio tweaking, you’re mis-allocating your resources. Messaging is the job interview a screening combined. Quality opening messages are important because you need to a) get them to respond, and b) dive deep enough into the conversation right away so you can emotionally connect before one of you drops the conversation. D.: There’s always more swipes to swipe, more matches to match, more options to gather.Women have a different set of social and personal safety challenges than guys.
For most guys, however, it means just a few commonsense best practices. Flirt, but keep it G or PG until you’re face to face.
Examine their bio and images for something specific that you have in common. Second, it invites your match to share something about themselves.
It can be anything, but it needs to be something you share – even just an interest in travel. Third, it gives you a topic to begin and expand into a real conversation. If their pictures or bio don’t give you anything to work with, move on. After you’ve suggested a shared interest, be generous with your personality, opinions, and passions. Psychologist Scott Barry Kaufman has written about this in his excellent book Humor signals both intelligence and the ability to win others over, both traits highly desirable in a potential heavy petting partner.
Step into her shoes for a moment: at some point you want her to meet up with you, an unknown male, in a dark bar or coffee shop she’s never been before, probably at night.
In just about any other kind of social transaction, that would be insane.
Apply that to who you (really) are and trust that the right people will connect with it.