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— As I surveyed real friends, Facebook friends, Twitter friends, and total strangers about having sex on the first date, the unfortunate cow comparison came up no fewer than five times in my first twelve interviews.Everybody complained about it, bemoaning the lack of nuance, the icky imagery, and the overt transactional implications. Are we, as we often claim to be, past the era of plastering A’s on each other’s chests?If I’m hoping for a relationship, I worry that I’ve given the wrong impression, and he’ll think I’m a slut.” But of course, for a whole host of reasons, sometimes we do. ” In fact, he slept with his wife on the very first date, “I think it’s a myth that getting naked too soon means trouble.” For some people, testing sexual compatibility early makes perfect sense.Harry, a married forty-something, calls sex “part and parcel of the decision making process about whether this person is a keeper or not. They want to know if there’s that initial physical spark before investing time into the growth and evolution of the relationship.” and the first comment I got was from my 30-year-old married cousin, with whom I agree on just about every political and social front. “Ew…just…ew.” I was shocked; her blanket statement was so far from my own heavily-caveated, wishy-washy, “if”-dominated multi-paragraph treatise on personal decision-making.
You’re unafraid to say “one inch to the left.” But sex with the same person, with whom you currently have a minor standoff going over who’s going to call the landlord about the water spot in the ceiling in the kitchen, can also become rote in a way casual sex cannot.
And yet, it kept rearing it’s ugly little antiquated head. ♦◊♦ “There’s a lot of pressure on women to control the pace of the relationship,” said 24-year-old Jess, “and not ‘give away the milk for free.’” Ugh, there it is again.
“But let’s face it,” she added, “we have hormones and sex drives us, just like males out there.
If I’m not interested in next steps, I wonder how to extricate myself if he wants to see me again.
If I’m hoping for a relationship, I worry that I’ve given the wrong impression, and he’ll think I’m a slut.” How many first-date, post-coital conversations begin with, “I swear, I “The only thing first-date sex triggers is anxiety.