Dating a recovering crack addict dating antique coffee grinders
When people stop using and start dating right away, they run the risk of seeking comfort in relationships instead of drugs.“Love addiction becomes a concern when infatuation replaces the ‘high’ of drug use,” notes Desloover.Most recovering addicts have a long history of dysfunctional and destructive relationships.Early in recovery, relationships are one of the leading causes of relapse.The first few months of recovery from addiction are some of the most difficult.
“In treatment, people learn new skills that need to be practiced before they are able to make them part of their daily life without returning to old patterns,” she explains.“Learn to define for yourself the things that you will not compromise for a love interest (‘deal-breakers’), such as your values, personal interests and spirituality.Only then will you be healthy and whole as a partner for someone else.” Be Patient. Even though it may feel like the process is agonizingly slow, there is no substitute for taking the time in the first year to focus exclusively on recovery.Codependent individuals focus too heavily on the needs of their partner (“My happiness is dependent on making/keeping you happy”), and define themselves by their relationship, sometimes lowering their personal standards to please someone else.Some women choose abusive partners in early recovery because they lack discernment or grew accustomed to being treated poorly in childhood.
Recovering the mind, body and spirit requires time to clear the years of shame, guilt, denial and emotional wreckage, and the likelihood of staying sober increases with each year in recovery. Once individuals pass the one-year mark, they can gradually ease back into dating.