Dating a recently separated man
The real reason his divorce hasn’t been finalized could be because of unfinished legal business. Often, his anger will be directed towards his wife – not necessarily through long rants but through small jabs, backhanded remarks and seething sarcasm disguised as humour.I remember one separated man I dated would seethe as he referred to his wife as the “Succubus” — she’s a demon that takes on a human form to sexually seduce men.If he was the victim: Depressed, angry, and mistrustful.If your separated man was cheated on by his wife, these fallout emotions will likely rear their heads in some form as you get to know him.Hopefully he doesn’t decide to withdraw his trust from all women and relegate them to “only being good for one thing.” If this is separated man, you might have a ‘Wounded Player’ on your hands. He’s getting too serious too fast There’s one word that best explains why your separated man is getting really serious really fast: he’s .The high and excitement of getting involved with you is essentially distracting him from the pain of his divorce..” Getting involved with a separated man usually comes with a host of issues and complications that spell drama, stress and heartache to a woman.The bottom line is that going through a divorce requires a lot of him – he must grieve, heal, hash through legalities, potentially adjust to single parenting and financial limitations, as well as rediscover a new sense of who he is today.
Rest-assured, his garbage is going to come out – and lucky you, you’ll end up helping him sort it.Though his reasons for cheating were probably very valid and real to him, he and he alone decided to problem-solve his unhappiness by betraying his wife.If he continues to blame his wife and doesn’t express remorse, it means he hasn’t taken responsibility for his actions and will feel more entitled to cheat again (on you).Accepting that that dream has died – and that he –is a painful process that requires the healing hands of time. It amazes me how many men are two, three, even important and it’s far more than “just a piece of paper.” In addition to providing some legal closure, it brings more emotional closure. Your separated man could be angry at many things: himself, a legal battle, women in general, even life.Throwing himself into dating or another relationship may temporarily make him feel better – but it only postpones the inevitable inner work that needs to be done. It symbolizes the completion of an old life – a finished chapter – as well as the freedom and independence to create a new future (ahem, a new relationship, possibly with you! Ask him this: If, in fact, the divorce decree isn’t a big deal (like he says), then why doesn’t he just get it done? Then ask him if he thinks it’s fair and reasonable to expect you to continue dating Hmmm… You know it’s possibly because he’s still emotionally “holding onto her”, too, right? If you pay attention, you’ll see flashes of it — in his eyes, his periods of silence or in his body language.