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Thus good eye contact is based on ; it is a shared experience.Perhaps eyes meet only for a second at first; one partner then tests the waters and tries a few seconds, and when that is met warmly, the pair can begin ramping up the eye contact together until they are locked in a beautiful dance of eyes and gazes.” [emphasis mine] After you’ve made two attempts to initiate eye contact with someone, if they don’t reciprocate at all, give it up.Eye contact results in physiologic arousal—it increases prefrontal brain activity and activates the sympathetic nervous system, speeding up a person’s heart rate, perspiration, and breathing.And this happens not only when you’re directly looking into someone’s eyes, but also when you simply that someone is staring at you.
But people can sometimes tell you’re doing that, making the tactic seem artificial and even manipulative. About every 5 seconds, or about the time it takes to speak a single sentence, look away from their eyes for a beat and then back again.A high ratio of speaking to listening eye contact is referred to as Now keep in mind that in most interactions, even if you do actually have higher-status than the person with whom you’re conversing, the best way to go is to make equal amounts of eye contact whether you’re speaking or listening.It pays to make a lot of eye contact when listening, as it makes the other person feel important, and making other people feel important is the linchpin of becoming charming and thus persuasive.In a job interview, eye contact is second in importance only to dress when it comes to nonverbal influencers.One study found that interviewers “were more likely to hire and rate as credible and attractive interviewees who maintained a normal or high degree of gaze than those who averted their gaze.” So be sure to make good, solid eye contact with the interviewer using the tips above.
When You Want to Intimidate People who have higher-status make more eye contact when they’re speaking, and less eye contact when they’re listening; this shows power.